Need a Good Laugh??

[D.Dawg]

A DEA officer stopped at a ranch in Texas, and talked with an old rancher. He told the rancher, “I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs.” The rancher said, “Okay , but don’t go in that field over there…..”, as he pointed out the location.

The DEA officer verbally exploded saying, ” Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me!” Reaching into his rear pants pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher. “See this fucking badge?! This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish…. On any land !! No questions asked or answers given!! Have I made myself clear?…. do you understand?!!”

The rancher nodded politely, apologized, and went about his chores. A short time later, the old rancher heard loud screams, looked up, and saw the DEA officer running for his life, being chased by the rancher’s big Santa Gertrudis bull…… With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it seemed likely that he’d sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified. The rancher threw down his tools, ran to the fence and yelled at the top of his lungs…..

“Your badge, show him your fucking BADGE!!”

Topic

[moparkid25]

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

[D.Dawg]

Here’s another one you might like…

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my Labrador Retriever and was
in line to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I
probably shouldn’t because I’d ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d
lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out
of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works
is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two
every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was
going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, the woman asked if I’d been poisoned by the dog food and was that why
I was in the hospital.

I said no…..I’d been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.

[Author]

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