Some Sigs

[hpdog259962]

Here Are Some Signatures Someone could use. Take yours:

Credit Card Owner: Member Of Debt Set.
A Bird In The Hand Is A Big Mistake.
Today has been a long year.
BREAKFAST.COM Hslted: Cereal Port Not Responding.
Where’s The “Any” Key?
Committee: a group that takes minutes & wastes hours.
Are you a Klingon or is that a turtle on your head?
Early to bed, Early to rise makes people suspicious.
Conclusion: the place where you get tired of thinking.
“Modem,” said the gardener after he’d finished mowing the lawn
“Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.” -Freud
Money is the root of all wealth.
A Naked Man Fears No Pickpocket
…and this is your brain with a side order of bacon.
*FLASH* Engergizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
Two wrong don’t make a right, but three lefts do!
A “program” is used to turn data into error messages
Do Molecular Biologists wear designer genes?
The food hereis terrible, & the portions are too small
Don’t touch that phone! I’m using the mode+^%&%$$((@
A classic is a book the is praised but not read
Vuja De: that feeling that you’ve never been here
To err is human. To moo is bovine
DOes killing time harm eternity?
If I melt dry ice, can I swim without getting wet?
Blessed are the meek, for they make great scapegoats
Now, where did I put that dweeb filter?
A good friend *keeps* the surplus zucchini
This signature is identical to the one you are reading
A bug is a feature that didn’t make it into the manual.
Don’t judge a book by it’s movie
Dogmatism: puppyism come to its full growth
Never agree with me; it shakes my self-confidence
To keep your milk sweet, leave it in the cow
What if there were no hypothetical situations?
With a calendar, you days are numbered.
hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPS LOCK kEY?
An autority is anyone who guesses right more than once
Not now, Kato
Santa’s elves are just a bunch of subordiante Clauses
People who live in stone houses shouldn’t throw glasses
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard
A day without sunshine is like night
The thrill of victory, the agony of Delete
When money talks, there are few interruptions
Streakers Repent! Your end is in sight!
The pen is mightier than the pencil
If it weren’t or time, everything would happen at once
Hand n. A singual warn at the end of a human
Eschew obfuscation
Do not drink coffee in the morning or it will keep you awake
A good hot dog feeds the hand that bites it
I distinctly remeber forgetting that.
***ERROR*** Unable to intert witty signature
Trying to establish voice contact-please yell into keyboard
Volcano: A mountain with hiccups
Ask me about my vow of silence
You usually don’t see that type of behavior in a major appliance
White dwarf seeks red giant for binary realtionship
Bad spellers of the world untie
Do radoiactice cts have 18 half-lives?
What is life? It’s the cereal Mikey likes
Fricition is a drag
I can’t be overdrawn, I still have checks
Happiness is a warm modem
Guru to deli man: make me one with everything
Hey Rocky! Watch me pull a rabbit outta my hat
Dinner not ready: (A)bort (R)etry (P)izza
<<Signature Deleted by Natl Endowment for the Arts>>
Take my advice, I don’t use it anyway
None of you exist, my sysop types all this in
Attentoin…Elvis has left the forum
Scotty! Hurry! Beam me uragg^#z8 NO CARRIER
Always be sincere, even if you don’t mean it.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2
America: Log on or log off
Don’t believe everything you hear or anything you say
If you can’t make it work, make a statistic out of it
An elephant is a nouce built to government specs.
43.3% if all statistics are meaningless
Things are more likely to be used than they are now
An electrician worries about current events
Hindsight is an exact science
A wok is what you throw at a cockwoach
Hors d’oeuvres: ham sandwhich cut into forty pieces
Abandon hope, all ye who <ENTER> here
I’d love to, but I promised my freind to fold road maps
If pracice makes perfect, and nobody’s perfect, why practice?
A wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn
AAcckk!! II””mm iinn hhaallff dduupplleexx
Air bags…Inflation we can live with
All wiyth/ Rho stritched mg kegtops awound?
And, pray tell, whose imagination are *you* a figmnet of?
All programmrs want arrays
Any Job Worth Doing Is Worth Complaining About
“Traveling Through hyperspace isn’t like dusting crops, boy.”
A bird in the bush is better than one overhead
I’m Just Trying Out This Signature, It isn’t registered yet
Whom computers would destroy, they must first drive insane
A clear consciene is merely the result of bad memory
I’m in shape, rounds a shape, isn’t it?
Time is money, and many people pay their debts with it.
UFO’s are real, The Air Force Dosen’t exist
Bugs are sons of glitches
Welcome To The Future, It’s just starting now
It is bad luck to be superstitious
Calm Down: It’s only 1’s & 0’s
The Earth is like a tiny grain of sand, only heavier
Network Management is like trying to herd cats
If I wanted your opinion, I would have given it to you
You’ll know a happy motorcyclist by the bug stains in his teeth
BTW, FWIW, IMHO, yes OTOH, AAMOF, maybe not
BBSing…time’s black hole
A Clean Desk Is The Signes of A Cluttered Desk Drawer
I’d love to, but I don’t go out on days ending in “y”
Honesty’s the best policy, Insanity’s a better defense
If at first you don’t succeed, you’ll get lots of advice
Microbiology Lab: Staph Only
Sigmund’s wife wore Freudian slips
The meek shall inheret the Earth-but not it’s mineral rights
Black holes are where God divided by 0
Help! I’m a prisioner in a tagline factory!
The older I get, the better I used to be
The Hubble works fine; all the stuff IS blurry
STICK ‘stik n. 1. A boomerang that dosen’t work right
What is the meaning of life? and Truth? and DOS?
Warning! Do not reuse signature. Discard safely after use
Ultimate office automation: networked coffee machines
Twinkies have a half-life, but Velveeta is eternal
What color is a chameleon in a mirror?
Is FIDO a (net)Working Breed?
<<Politically incorrect Tagline deleted>>
Cogito ergo spud: I think, therefore, I yam
This place has everything
I haven’t lost my mind: it mist be backed up somewhere
The true diplomat struts sitting down
Penguin: the headwaiter of the Antarctic
“Is the data saved?” “No but we’re praying for it.”
Defnintion of software upgrade: Olf bugs out; new bugs in.
A chicken is an egg’s way of producing more eggs
Tuba or not Tuba?
A penny saved is rediculous
When puns are outlawed, only outlaws will have puns
k/./;;jkhioyuttew23… Hey, get the cat off my keyboard!!
Stop here for Transcendental Omniscience.
Above all else: sky
Free The Indianapolis 500!
I’d love to, but I have to floss my cat
Never say anything more predictave than: “Watch This”
Philiosophy: unintelligable answers to unsovable problems
Not a reak signature, but an incredible soy substitute
We have met the enemy, and he’s all yours!
If I save the whales, where do I keep them?
Celery farmers play the stalk market
Yeah, but what’s the speed of DARK?
Where there’s smoke, there’s toast
I think, therefore I am overqualified
Put Off Procrastinating until another time
Mr. Bullfrog says: “Time is fun when you’re having flies.”
If worse comes to worst, you *can* turn most things off
Modem: A Great deterrent to phone solicitors
Uh, yeah… I MEANT to do that This is mine!! :haha: :doh:
It is easier to admire hard work if you don’t do it
Everyone is entititled to my opinion
This space for rent
(1) Ignore (2) Retry (3) Aborth (4) Meltdown
A seminar on time travel will be held two weeks ago
This signature protected by an attack cat Just see Cap’s Avatar :haha: wave.gif
Unable to locate Diet Pepsi–Operator Halted!
Today’s subliminal message is:
Careful planneing will never replace dmb luck
An atheust is someone who has no invisible mans of support
Draw from your fine command of the language & say nothing
Good fortune will find you, providing you gave directions
I doubt; therefore I migh be
Let not the sands of time get into your lunch
Thos who flee temptation generally leave a forwarding address
Wagner’s music is better tha it sounds
Having Problems W/ Dos? Call 1-900-WHA-AAAA
PUI: Piglet User Interface
The buck stops here; the Doe just visits
& <:====== Snake Stalking amoersand
*I* didn’t do it, the *computer* did it
Who do you call to exorcise software
A hangover is the wrath of grapes
This message will self-destruct in five seconds…
Does the name “Pavlov” ring a bell?
Does fuzzy logic tickle?
Walk softly & carry a filly charged phaser
We know return to our regularly scheduled flame-throwing
A harp is a nude piano
Hug: A roundabout way of expressing affection
WHat is the true meaning of DOS?
Synonym: a word you use when you can’t spell the other
Middle Age: when you age starts to show around you middle
Can I yell “movie” in a crowded firehouse
On a scale from 1-10 4 is about 7
Mosquito: designed by God to make flies seem better
Tact is the intelligence of the heart
Okay, I’m Weird! But I’m saving up to become eccentric
The last sound that was made was “Zap”
All generalizations are false
I’d love to, but I;m scheduled for a karma tansplant
Marching to a different Kettle of Fish
Can Signatures Have Seaqules? Hmm….
CAUTION: Incorrigible punster! Don’t incorrige
This is the day of firm discensions, or is it?
All True Wisdoms can be found on T-Shirts
Remeber the VW anomaly … er, Bug?
I’m not afraid of flying, I’m afraid of Crashing.
Air Pollution of a mist demeanor
Never Lick A Gift Horse In The Mouse
Multitasking causes Schizophernia
If all the world’s a stage, I want better lighting & better scripts
Things are more like they are now then they were before
Are You Sure (N/N)?
Defend the right to keep & arm bears
i’d love to, but my bathroom tiles need grouting
The World Is Coming to An End, save you buffers
Ask me about space hamsters
I’d Love To, But My Dress for Obscurity class meets then
Atheism is a non-prophit organization
The lab called’ your brain’s ready
The UARTS won’t take this speed, captain
Danger! Human at keyboard
Infinity is just time on an ego trip
A viruoso is a musician with really high morals
Multitask: choke on gum & trip simultaneosly
With free advice, you get what you paid for
Tims is an allusion, especially when modeming
Do Not Remove This Signature under penalty of laew
A “career” is a job that takes about 20 hours longer per week
Doing nothing makes you tired because you can’t take a break
Time files like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana :banana:
Answers: $1 Correct Answeres: $5 Dumb Looks: FREE!!
Beware of Programmers who carry screwdrivers
Genuine Exploding Signature- ACME Signature Co.
Chopped Cabbage: Not Just A Good Idea, It’s The SLAW
Computer not found, please notify user
Fact: 14 out of every 10 people like chocolate
Feeling lucky? Install that software upgrade
I’m leaving my body to science fiction
Invertebrates make no bones about it
Is it just me, or is 9600bps not as fast as it used to be
Make Friends With Sysops: Page them at 3AM
Oxymoron: One who has used too much Acne goo?
A feature is a bug with seniority
Where does fire go when fire goes out?
This post is made of recyclible electorns
DOn’t Marry For Money, You Can Borrow it For Much Cheaper.
Unbreakable toys are good for breaking other toys
Bad news is never good until worse happens
Atheistic duslexics don’t believe in dog
Back up my hard disk? I can’t even find the reverse switch!!
What’s another word for Thesaurus?
What, me, worry?
Hay! Don’t Pick up that Dog! !GIZ/^% NO TERRIER
All’s well that ends
Money: A Mint makes it first, and we try to make it last.
Hello? Is This The Person i am speaking to?
BEWARE- Signature theif in this forum
A fool and his money are soon partying
Diplomacy: the art of letting someone have your way
Entropy isn’t what it used to be
Honk if you’ve obscene gestures
I’d love to, but i have to answer all my “occupant” mail
Friends May Come And Go, But Enemies Accumulate
Keep your words soft and sweet, in case you have to eat them
Pure drivel tends to drive me away from ordinary drivel
Jealousy is all the fun you THINK they have
THe person who is all wrapped up in himself is overdressed
Appreciate me now and avoid the rush
I’d Love To, but ut’s my pet parakeet’s bowling night
Oh dear! I think you’ll find reality is on the blink again
THere’s no future in time travel
We all live in a yellow subroutine
Whatever it is, I’m against it–Groucho Marx
Your shoe in ringing….
If you see an onion ring, answer it
Death is nature way of telling you to slow down
Avoid computer viruses: Practice safe HEX
Bell aanounces: FREE Call waitiXn$g#@0(/
SHortcut: the longest distance between two points
Why get even when you can get odd
A professor is somone who talkes in one’s sleep
Beam me up, Scotty, this isn’t the Men’s room
Talk is cheap unless you hire a lawyer
Disk Crash: (A)bort (R)etry (K)ill Innocent Bystandards
KNow thyself. If you need help, call the CIA
Tact is the unsiad part of what you are thinking
When I want your opinion, I’ll read you entrails
Life is so uncertain, eat dessert first
You mean we have another MODEM to feed?
What does THIS Button do? +++ATA+++ CARRIER LOST
Ask not for whom the bell tolls; let the machine get it
code code code code eat code code sleep code code (This is a good one for our mod’s out there)
The basis of optimism is sheer terror
Are part-time band leaders semi-conductors?
Breeding Rabbits is a hair-raising experience
After All I Said And Done, Usually more is said then done
A stitch in time would have confused Einstein
THou Shalt not cover thy neighbor’s signature
1991: Year Of THe Palendrome, & 2002: WOW
Where are we going? And Why am I in this handbasket?
Apathy Error: Don’t Brother Striking Any Key
What Can You Do At 3AM… Psst-Got A Modem?
Backup not found: <P> Panic <Any Other Key> Panic
To er is human
Be suspicious of all native-born Esperanto speakers
……………. <

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Stealth Signature
A Person Without a Navel Lives Within All oF Us
When All else fails, read the manual
A pessimist complains about the noise when opportunity knocks
Pay not attention to the man behind the curtain!
Biology Groes on you
All things are possible except skiing through a revolving door
Darth Vader sleeps with a teddy Wookie
Mediataion is not what you think
“daddy, what does FORMATTING DRIVE C mean?”
# <:

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Snake Stalking Person
But Which One Is The Fatherboard?
You can’t do that it has been digitally cursed
Prune: A plum that has seen better days
Earth: A Solid substance, much desired by the seasick
A verbal contract isn’t worth the paper it’s written on
How do I set my lazer printer to stun?
This is a fried egg on drugs. Any questions?
Can I blame my spelling on Line Noise?
667: Satan’s Neighbor
Two right’s don’t make a wrong; they make an airplane
Are Cheeriors really doughnut seeds?
Reality? I’ll only go as a tourist
Diagonally parked in a paralell universe
Be Sure Not To Start A Tagline you can’t fini
HOw did the fool get his money in the first place?
Become A Programmer and never see the world
Psychoceramics: The study of crackpots
Press The <Stop> Key Noe
Paron me, please, which is the nonsmoking lifeboat?
If it isn’t broken, I can fix it
Just say no to single-topic Forums
Art is either plagerism or revolution
Fax me know questions; I’ll fax you know lies
Danger! Danger! Computer Store Ahead! Hide Wallet
A bird in the hand is the best way to eat chicken
A closed mouth gathers no foot
Of all the people I’ve met, you’re certantly on of them
Chicken Little only has to be right once
############# <

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Scratch Off To Reveal Your Prize
Three Kinds Of People; Those who can count & Those who can’t
600MB Hard Drive 5MB Free
A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a moose
grr
NO CARRIER?! How about two frigates and a submarine?
Police Statin Toilet Stolen. Cops have nothing to go on
Why is there a permanent press setting on my iron?
Every crowd has a silver lining
common sense, isn’t it?
Poker Face: The face that launched a thousand chips
On a clear disk you can seek forever
A miser’s hard to live with but he makes a fine ancestor
I tried switching to the gum, but I couldn’t keep it lit
Life is too short to learn ZMODEM PArameters
ARe you suggesting that coconuts migrate?

Topic

[Garibaldi]

I’ve got another one for you. This is from Seinfeld, Uncle Leo is talking (The Bookstore episode):

“Will somebody answer that damn phone!!!”

[Anonymous]

dawg!
i see you’ve been busy here too.
good sigs.icon_headbang.gif

if you (any of you) want more, check this out.
http://www.dustin.icenter.pl/ruminations/notebooks_of_lazarus_long.htm

[Garibaldi]

Quote:

dawg!
i see you’ve been busy here too.
good sigs.icon_headbang.gif

if you (any of you) want more, check this out.
http://www.dustin.icenter.pl/ruminations/notebooks_of_lazarus_long.htm

Yeah hpdog has been busy!

That’s quite the list you have there!!! 😯

[Anonymous]

if by “that’s quite the list you have there”, you mean me; well i wish i could claim the credit.
that would be Robert Ansolm Heinlein via Lazarus Long.
i can’t claim credit to that much wisdom(insanity).

R.A.H is probably the person closest to being called my personal hero.
i don’t agree with everything he espoused, but dear gods, he has shaped my life.

[Garibaldi]

Quote:

if by “that’s quite the list you have there”, you mean me; well i wish i could claim the credit.
that would be Robert Ansolm Heinlein via Lazarus Long.
i can’t claim credit to that much wisdom(insanity).

R.A.H is probably the person closest to being called my personal hero.
i don’t agree with everything he espoused, but dear gods, he has shaped my life.

Well whoever wrote it spent a lot of time!!! 😯

[Author]

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