- This topic has 4 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 19 years, 6 months ago by
.
-
Topic
-
Has anyone seen the movie The Jerk with Steve Martin? Its a hilarious movie, I really enjoy the part about the new phonebook, its hilarious! :haha: Drogar-Laugh(LBG).gif
Here’s the scene script:
Quote:Navin Gee Mr. Hartounian! Gee Mr. Hartounian!(a phone book delivery truck drives up)
Navin Oh, my God! (Navin takes the book.) Thank you.
(he rips through the book, looking for something)
Navin The new phone book’s here! The new phone book’s here!
Harry Well I wish I could get so excited about nothing.
Navin Nothing? Are you kidding?! Page 73, Johnson, Navin, R.! I’m
somebody now! Millions of people look at this book every day!
This is the kind of spontaneous publicity, you’re name in print,
that makes people. I’m impressed! Things are going to start
happening to me now.[At Madman’s house]
Madman (he picks a name at random from the new phone book)
Johnson, Navin, R. Sounds like a typical bastard.[Back at the gas station]
Madman Die Navin R. Johnson. Bastard, random son of a bitch,
typical run of the mill bastard.Navin Fill ‘er up?
Stan Fill ‘er up son and a little bit extra! Stan Fox buying gas.
Navin Navin R. Johnson selling it sir!
Madman Got ya, you lavish typical blocking of the view of a God
damn average victim bastard.Navin Check your oil?
Stan Check away Navin R. Johnson!
Navin Oil rag at the ready sir!
Stan Lets check the oil together!
Navin Yes sir, thank you sir!
Madman Son of blocking bastard!
Stan Looks good to me sir but I’d like your opinion! (Stan’s
glasses slip off his nose) Damn these glasses! Looks good to me
too! Hurry up son, time’s a wasting! I’m going to the john. Don’t
forget to check the tires. Damn these glasses son!Navin Yes sir. I damn thee!
Stan Damn! Damn these glasses!
Navin Sir! I can fix those glasses!
Stan You can? Well here, fix those suckers!
(Dramatic music plays as Navin is tossed the pair of glasses. He
catches them and runs inside to fix them.)Madman Shit!
(Stan comes back from the john)
Navin Sir! Guess what – I fixed ’em. I was back there thinking,
what causes glasses to slip on and off and it’s because when you
take them on and off you’re always putting pressure on the frames
like this – it causes them to spread, so I put a little handle
right here in the centre and it puts the pressure on the bridge
where it belongs, just like the tierods on a 72 Buick, plus I put
a little nose brake on to prevent slippage. Try it! Use the
handle.Stan Well, I’ll be. It works! You know, I make a pretty good
living selling shit like this. I tell you what: if I can develop
this gizmo, I’ll split with you fifty fifty.Navin O.k.
Stan How much do I owe you for the gas? I got a trunk load of
shit to sell.Navin Twenty six, forty one.
Stan Here’s a triple six! Keep the change.
Navin Wow thanks!
Madman Dead centre – say you’re prayers, half breed!
(cans begin to pop on the display Navin is standing next to)
Navin Hey Harry, look at this! What’s the matter with these cans?
Madman Die milk face!
(more cans pop)
Navin These cans are defective – they’re springing leaks! Come
over here and look at this!Harry Listen, you better run for cover or you’re going to spring
a leak!Navin Huh?
Harry We don’t have defective cans, we have a defective person
out there!Navin He hates these cans! Stay away from the cans!
Madman Die gas pumper!
(the glass on a pump breaks)
Navin Get away from those cans!
(Navin runs inside the station)
Navin There’s cans in there too!
(the gas station window breaks)
navin More cans!
Madman Die you bastard!
Harry He doesn’t want to put holes in the cans, he want to put
holes in you!Navin What?
Madman Milk faced bastard!
Navin Oh my God, I’m endangering your life! Cover me!
Harry You’re covered.
Madman Suck my toes!
Navin You stay here, I’ll distract him.
(Navin pulls away in a car with no tires on, Madman follows
behind)Navin Shithead, come on! Come on boy! Good boy!
(Navin is chased, and eventually, pulls into a carnival lot)
[A carnival lot]
(There is a sign on the fence that reads “Carnival personnel
only”)Madman Carnival personnel only. Damn.
Navin Shithead come one!
Madman You’re not carnival personnel!
Navin Come on boy, come on!
Madman Hey, he’s not carnival personnel!
Frosty O.k Eddy, move it out.
(a truck pulls out, with Navin riding on the back)
:haha:
-
Replies
-
I’ve seen this movie many times and could watch it again just for the laughs.
Steve Martin is a true comedian. thumbsup.gifQuote:I’ve seen this movie many times and could watch it again just for the laughs.
Steve Martin is a true comedian. thumbsup.gifHe is!! Its so funny……. :haha: icon_cheesygrin.gif
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.