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From an email I got recently.
NEW PRIEST SIPPING VODKA
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor replied, ” When I am worried about getting nervous, on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.”
So next Sunday he took the monsignor’s advice.
At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.
He proceeded to talk up a storm.
Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:
1. Sip the vodka, don’t gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as
Daddy, Junior and the spook.8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the shit out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his
donkey, don’t say he was stoned off his ass.10. We do not refer to the cross as the “Big T.”
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, “take
this and eat it for it is my body.” He did not say ” Eat me”12. The Virgin Mary is not called ” Mary with the Cherry.”
13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: “Rub-A-Dub-
Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.”14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter’s,
not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy’sIf it rocks, I like it. List what I have? Between the 45’s, 33’s, 8 tracks, cassettes, CD’s and music videos, it would take way too much time and space. I just bought more cassettes today. 3 for a buck, I love thrift stores. icon_biggrin.gif
Quote:1960-1972I’m with you, thumbsup.gif maybe even back into the late 50’s. 57 Chevy Power Pack 283 was a fast car for it’s day. Chrysler 300 letter cars were rich men’s hot cars. Ford and Studebaker had superchargers available on some models. There were hot cars from the factory in the early 60’s, too. They weren’t called muscle cars yet, but a 327 in a Vette, a 409 in a Chevy or a 421 in a Pontiac would run with or out run most of the later muscle cars. 72 was about the end of the era. You could still get big CI engines and stripes, but they were detuned for smog and insurance reasons and just looked like their recent high power versions. Then the gas “shortage” hit and no one wanted a high performance gas hog. Those were the days. Drogar-Love(LBG).gif I miss them. Drogar-Cry(LBG).gif
Classic Auto Restorer is the only one I get now. No ads, just info and articles, thats why I like it.
Well, it’s known as “Resale Red” or “Arrest Me Red”. Drogar-Laugh(LBG).gif I do know that red is the most expensive paint if you buy the paint to repaint your own car. Black was the cheapest the last time I priced paint. I don’t think it should cost more if it is a factory offered color for a new car, but the factory/dealer will charge extra for anything he can get away with. I have a red 65 Catalina.
Quote:That’s a good way to finish it off!! We got every last one!! What should we start now?Did I missed icon_scratch.gif something or was Y skipped. Either way, I’ll add one: You Can’t Do That On Television.
Here’s some other people having a bad day. icon_eek.gif
Little Georgie watched his daddy’s car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace.
Little Georgie found this so exciting that he could not contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother, “Mommy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy’s car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane……..”
At this point Mommy cut him off and said, “Georgie, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy’s face when you tell it tonight.”!
At the dinner table, Mommy asked little Georgie to tell his story.
Georgie started his story, “I was at the playground and I saw Daddy’s car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mommy and Uncle Bill do when Daddy is away on his buisness trips.” w00t.gif
Moral: Sometimes you need to listen to the whole story before you interrupt. thumbsup.gif
